Twenty reasons to dump

Credit goes to: http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/relationship-going-nowhere-20-signs-your-partner-doesnt-care

You want it to work, you really do. You swear things between you two would be amazing if only he would stop doing this and start doing that instead. You two look so good together. He’s perfect on paper. The sex is hot. You’re so tired of the dating scene. Blah, blah, blah.

Stop it! You know what you’re doing and you know you can do better. Here are 20 very clear signs this is a situation and not a relationship — and it’s going absolutely nowhere.

 

#1. They’re “too busy” to text you. There are 24 hours in a day and each of those hours holds 60 minutes. Every single one of those minutes has 60 full seconds in them. Now write a text. How long did it take? Point proven.

#2. They play the cat and mouse game. One night they’re into the relationship, and the next you’re reenacting Adele’s “Hello.” Just as you’re giving up, they call to say they’ve thought about things. They were a fool. Please take them back. Once you do, they’re gone again. Show them you stopped playing “girl chase boy” in grade school and run the other way.

#3. They make everything all about them. You make sure their needs, wants and desires are met, which leaves literally zero room for you in their “me, me, me” world.

#4. They use gaslighting techniques as a way to keep you in check. Gaslighting is a phrase assigned to an emotional abuse technique that has one partner convincing the other that reality is an illusion. If your partner is denying they said or did certain things, or they’re blaming you for saying and doing things you didn’t, it’s abusive.

#5. Your partner is an a**. Healthy, normal adults know how to speak to and treat others like human beings. There’s no power or charm in being an a**.

#6. They disrespect things that are important to you. Whether it’s a religious belief they don’t share or a hobby they aren’t interested in, you don’t need to be with someone who can’t treat the things you value with respect.

#7. They don’t support you. Support is a lot more than just not saying they don’tsupport the things you’re doing. Do they show up when you need someone there? Do they stay up and help you practice your presentation, and show an active interest in how things are progressing? When you fall, are they there to catch you and offer you a hand back up? What’s the good of being with someone who doesn’t have your back?

#8. They don’t introduce you to people in their lives. Yes, it takes time to be invited home to meet the parents, but if you’re five months in and no one knows you beyond your name, he’s not serious about you.

#9. They make you feel like you can’t say anything right. Is your guy constantly picking fights with you and misinterpreting everything you say? Do you feel like you’re running around in circles and defending yourself even when you’re being nice? Unless you’re speaking in code, there’s a bigger problem and it has nothing to do with you.

#10. They constantly say “sorry” for the same thing. Sorry is just a word unless there’s a real effort made to not make the same mistake again.

#11. They don’t make you feel like yourself. You’ve twisted yourself in so many directions and walked on so many eggshells that you’re exhausted.

#12. It’s all about sex. Yes, you can still have dates and cuddle, but when the only compliments are about your body and all of your time together feels like a means to an end, it’s not love, but lust.

#13. They never invite you out on prime real estate nights. It’s fun to grab a drink on a Tuesday night, but if you’re never having dinner on a Saturday or laughing over brunch on a Sunday (without having slept over the night before), you might be questioning who is.

#14. They’re on Tinder but claim they aren’t seeing anyone else. This is just an insult to your intelligence.

#15. Your friends can’t figure out why you keep trying. Sure, no one knows what reallyhappens in a relationship, but your friends can definitely tell you when you’re not in one — and not going to be.

#16. They remember nothing about you. You have full conversations that he cannot recollect. He’s heard you mention your April birthday five times but still swears you were born in June. If the only thing he remembers is your address and his favorite bra-and-panty set, there’s a problem.

#17. They close down when you try to get close. He will share photos of his private parts, but try to touch his heart and he freaks out.

#18. They make you cry several times a month. Tears are expensive. Is he worth it?

#19. They aren’t your special someone. We all know the couple who stayed together because they were too afraid (or lazy) to get back out there and meet the right person for them. While it may be tempting initially to give into the “bird in the hand” mentality, don’t kid yourself. You’ll meet someone else and they will make you feel more than just safe — they’ll make you feel safe and give you butterflies.

#20. Deep down, you just know you need to end it.

Ladies, read this!

triziaquilalaTexting: the preferred method of communication for most young people. Personally, I hate it. If I meet a new guy and we start a conversation through text, I hand my phone over to one of my friends. If you’re a guy and I’ve texted you it most likely wasn’t me. I prefer the old school…

via He’s Not Worth Texting Back If He’s Doing Any Of These 5 Things — Thought Catalog

I’ve been sent these messages (these are just HALF of them) by the same  drunk loser  disturbed person saying he wants to rape me and perform sex acts on me unconscious. (Sex acts on an unconscious person? Sounds like a Brock Turner wanna-be!) I know who it is, let’s just call him “Project” now to be professional. You see, I’ve had several uncomfortable encounters with Project in high school, many of a stalking nature. One incident was where he waited outside the ladies’ room entrance so he can harass me and one where he found a cell phone number of mine and called on a blocked number one night (but turned it around to say I did it to him to throw out all blame on him to cover his ass). There were other uncomfortable incidents which I care not to speak of. Funny thing is, I’ve NEVER been acquainted with this worthless, slimy, little eel person and yet he has this dangerous obsession with me.

*I’m updating this after two years because I think it’s best for everyone to witness these and judge for themselves. (Is sending someone 30 rape threats normal and non-threatening? Do you want some creature like that lurking in your wholesome little community?)*

I have contacted the police about these 30 heinous messages, and yet they kept transferring me to another department and nothing was done at that time. However, I had the luck of having the IP 67.149.50.75 traced and it gave me a valid region location to the individual who was sending me these disgusting messages. The sneaky prick was trying to use an anonymous emailer, but failed to realize that I got more information off the IP address he left behind.

 

rapethreats 1rape threats 2

 

Here is the latitude and longitude converter that helped me trace the IP where the messages were coming from.

cunt

(*Of all places, the IP location was in Mt. Greenwood, with its strong police presence and upstanding community members!)

 

In conclusion, YA DUN GOOFED.

Consequences Will Never Be the Same

I “dated” a gamer and it was a disastrous waste of time.

Hello, all! I’m back from a 2-year absence on wordpress and have new material to post! I am utterly thankful for all the support I’ve gained these past three years and hope to bring better material in the future!

Anyway, this Thursday marks one year I broke up with a “gamer”, or person who loves video games to the point of becoming socially isolated (and therefore, inept), and I had valid reasons to do so.. I feel a lot of people can learn from my experience, and that posting my thoughts are not so self-serving and cathartic.

I met this guy at school in the fall of 2014 and he seemed sweet enough. At first, I felt I had a lot in common with him as we started talking, and it seemed he was comfortable enough with me to talk about things that were going on in his life (loss of a parent, starting a new school, etc.) After a week later of meeting this guy, he wanted something closer than a friendship.. or so I thought..

The first signs there was a problem in this “partnership” was when I asked him if he used Facebook and if he’d like to add me. He said he never had Facebook and didn’t use it. Well, twenty-four hours later, I walked into my school library, (where they have the huge computer screens and you can get the idea of what site a student is using) and while walking past him, he was on.. You guessed it… FACEBOOK. I asked him, “hey, John*, I thought you didn’t have a Facebook?” He looked up at me, and said, “oh, I’m sorry I lied to you, Cara, but I have to keep my Facebook a secret because of personal reasons.. I do feel bad about lying to you…” It turns out, his Facebook under a different name, was composed of pictures of Godzilla and other pictures of Kirby, as he initially thought I was too shallow to understand his “strange” interests. Nevertheless, I overlooked it and wasn’t going to let this guy think of me as shallow.

The other problems came up when he didn’t text me for weeks, and would blow off any plans I wanted to make with him, and would come up with some excuse not to when he found it convenient to text me. (“I had to watch the painters at my apartment”, “I had so much homework to do”, “I had to do some chores for my landlady,”) and what-not. Even though I had some bad feeling about keeping this guy around, I wanted to take the good with the bad, because I believed things would get better over time. Another issue was that he only wanted to talk about the baggage his other ex-girlfriends gave him in his previous relationships. “My last girlfriend was bi-polar, my other girlfriend before her would slap me and hit me, and the other girl before that admitted she cheated on me and broke up with me..” etc., and I had to keep reminding him that I was not those other girls, so he would stop talking about them. In March of that year, after not texting me for two weeks, he tried catching up with me on campus and apologized for not contacting me for whatever his excuse was. I didn’t say much to him and said, “Sorry, John* I got nothing to talk about..” and I walked away from him without making any gesture or eye contact. Eventually I started contacting him again, after all, he did act sincere about not contacting me.

The other problems came up when he didn’t want to talk about anything, but wanted to play on his Nintendo DS and act as though I was invisible in the same room with him. He also avoided me when he was talking to his other friends at school, and would ignore me on top of that. At that time, I told myself I was being too negative and over-thinking the situation.

Another sign this guy was not good for me, was when he didn’t want to talk about anything else other than himself and his problems, “the professor looked at me funny when I told him what I was going to school for,” “I can’t do this paper.. I feel like a total failure,” “My other friend Jim* got me this summer job but the staff are mistreating me and hurting my feelings,” “I feel like I have a lot to prove to everyone else”, when I made some suggestions to help his situation, he just pretended not to hear me, and continued to piss in my ear about how it was pouring on him.

During that summer, after not hearing back from him via text or Facebook (even though he was on Facebook all day everyday), I asked his close friend Carl*, whom John* introduced me to when we went on a double-date with him and his girlfriend if I did something wrong to make him not want to contact me or go out with me, and that I had to question if I was dating him or not. Carl* told me, “Cara, you’re not the only girlfriend of John* who contacted me before when she felt he was blowing her off. You see, John* has this problem where he doesn’t keep in touch with girls and he doesn’t see a problem in that. His other girlfriends got fed up with being left out of his plans, and personally I can’t blame them for breaking up with him.. In all honesty, John* is only keeping you around to call you his ‘girlfriend’ but that’s about it.. It’s not going to get any better for you two.” After learning this from Carl* I felt I had some closure, that it really wasn’t my fault things weren’t getting any better, and John* was only living in a fantasy where he doesn’t want a real relationship (you know where you got out of your way for the other partner to make them feel appreciated and cared for), but calls these women his “girlfriends” like they are some kind of accessory to his empty, bland life. But he talked about these women like he was some kind of victim and that they gave up on him.

For some reason, I decided to contact John* and ask him if I  was doing something wrong to make him not want to talk to me, and he assured me he was just tired from working that job that “made him so miserable.” Again, I wanted to put effort into this “relationship” and thought things would get better after asking him what was going on. However, Carl* proved to be right. John* did not care about me at all, and was using me as some asset. I truly believe John* suffers from some sort of low self-esteem because he has limited social skills and limited perspective, but instead of dealing with these problems, he wants to indulge in this fantasy life with video games. I think because of his unhealthy attachment to video games, he doesn’t know what it means to be in a relationship with a woman, or how to obtain job skills, or do anything useful in the real world. On the other hand, I admit I enabled him in that sense because of all the second, and third chances I gave him during this “relationship”. Like the video games he’s obsessed with, I just let him keep pressing the “reset game/try again” button. His extreme attachment to video games also hindered him from trying anything new and this became more apparent when he kept blowing off my suggestions to go out to eat, or go on a boat trip with his friend Carl* and his girlfriend. His past relationships failed mostly because he’s isolated these women and would rather spend time staring at a screen and pressing a controller than make them feel valued and secure.

During the end of that summer, I was going through my own problems, as I lost a loved one, and was preparing for my last semester at school. I didn’t need John* to use me for his own selfish agenda. I did not respond to his text and would not respond to his Facebook messages either. When he found me at school I had him follow me to a somewhat private room at school and said “John*, I’m not happy and this isn’t doing anything for me. I just lost somebody over the summer and I have too much to deal with. Is there anything you want to tell me?” John’s* response was, “Oh.. I know it’s my fault, I screwed this whole thing up.. You know I’m sorry for your loss, but you don’t know what I’ve been through all this summer.. The people at my job were abusive to me, and I failed a few of my classes.. anyway I know you probably resent me.. well, see you around.” In summary, that was the last time I ever spoke to John* again.

Later that night, Carl* contacted me and said “I heard you broke up with John*, how are you feeling?” I explained to Carl* that I didn’t want to break up with John*, but things were not getting any better, as he predicted. He asked me if John* tried to even contact me at all during the summer. After I said that he barely contacted me, Carl* said, “I knew something was wrong, because I told John*, ‘even when I had no car, I would always make some effort to see my girlfriend’.. He just sat there completely silent.” Carl* gave me enough closure and made me realize I made the right choice in breaking up with John*, because all he was doing was “using me for some fantasy when he just expected me to be there waiting for him at school after months of no contact on his end”. After talking to Carl* I realized I should have listened to my intuition about John* and told him “GAME OVER” a lot sooner It would have spared me a lot of wasted time and wasted effort.

 

In conclusion, if you read this and are facing a similar situation with a partner who is not doing anything for you, I highly advise you to get out of there fast. People like that are not worth your time or efforts. You cannot help a person who does not want to be helped.

Thank you for reading. (Names with * are changed to protect the identities of real people.)

GAME OVER

(Image copyright goes to the respective owner)

Ban Trevor Thomas

douchebag

https://www.facebook.com/trevor.thomas.5

Hi, all. I am posting here because I need to expose the ugliness of some people on the internet. I posted Mr. Trevor Thomas for his tasteless photo mocking individuals with Down Syndrome. He thinks taunting people with disabilities is his right to free expression, so I’m using my freedom of expression to expose what a heinous prick he is. Feel free to exercise your right too and get this information out!

Get involved in something bigger than yourself

Mustard Seed Budget

Walk to Africa To make sure walkers stayed on the course, I held the sign at Montana Ave. and Lincoln Blvd. in Santa Monica

Today we mounted the large-scale event, the Walk to Africa in Santa Monica, a walkathon that raises funds for Lighthouse Medical Missions. I’m exhausted.

I set up at the Fun Zone at 7:00 a.m. I directed traffic and cheered on walkers at the 6-mile mark. I packed up at 2:00 p.m. I was one of a hundred people staffing the event.

To help achieve a bigger goal than my own agenda is grand. You should try it. Especially if it involves serving humanity and serving God.

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